First date is underway, candle light lunch in the cafeteria surrounded by hundreds of people and as you gaze into her eyes, you wonder about that moment in which your recently moistened lips touch hers in what cannot be described as anything less than a religious experience…your first kiss. Your objective is to make her quiver, and hers is to make you want to kiss her more and more.
As I had mentioned before, The Corporation is an experienced gal that has… well…been around, and kissed many, so if you´re a rookie in the kissing department then you seriously need to brush up because this isn´t a joke. Corporate kissing is an art form.
You can´t just zoom in and place your eager wet lips on her…you need to strategize! You need to train, really prepare because once you give her that first kiss, it´s a kissing marathon from then on…you kiss the mother, and the father, and the uncles and aunts, the nanny, the driver and the cook. You want to win them all over. If dad wants some soda, you bring him the coldest to quench his thirst, if mom wants a ride to the market you have the car on so that she doesn´t break a sweat…if uncles and aunts want you to cater for a party then you spend hours cooking and decorating your back yard. Anything and everything…to satisfy the corporate kissing need. And boy, is she a needy one indeed.
You´d think that with all those people in her past and present she´d get tired of being kissed, but amazingly it seems that the desire grows as time goes on and the level of demand increases. Kissing expectations just get higher and higher and just when you think you´ve paid our dues…think again, because it´s kissing time again!
The challenging part is to want to keep kissing her after a while, when she´s fresh out of bed and not smelling too great, when she´s not been especially nice to you, or when you´ve caught her flirting with someone else. That´s when you really need to dig deep into your inner motivation to keep your kissing fire burning. Being the spoiled brat that she is…if the Corporation wants a kiss, she gets a kiss…or she moves onto someone else, more willing to put up with her moods and ways…and she will! Keep in mind that there´s a long line of admirers just waiting for you to slip…
But, back to daydreaming about that much awaited first kiss. She tells you to prepare yourself (she´s already given you hints on her favorites topics of conversation) and to wait for her in one of her rooms and so you rush to the bathroom, rinse with some heavy duty mouthwash, look in the mirror to make sure everything is in it´s place, and off you go…feeling a combination of anxiety and excitement, to meet your beloved…
You walk in, and much to your surprise…she´s not alone. Her whole family is there to witness the grand event so you think, “How hard can this be”?. You walk towards her, ready to lay out the heavy artillery when BAM, a slap on the cheek! Oh, you didn´t know she liked it rough? I guess they don´t like to discuss it, her family, the fact that she has some attitude issues. It´s a secret, only shared by those who get that close to her. So, you´re caught off guard and as you ask yourself why you´re even there…as a reaction fueled by pure adrenaline, you smile…compose yourself…and pucker up.
She looks so sweet, even after her little tantrum, that everyone has decided to ignore…as she embraces you in what feels like a piece of heaven. You´ve passed her test…she´s opened up to receive your kiss. Her family looks pleased and you can hear Endless Love in the background. This is it, you think…you´ve found what you´ve been waiting for…the love of your life. And so, you kiss and kiss and kiss…
You kiss her in the morning, when you wake her at 8:30 am sharp everyday (god forbid you´re late because she´ll get temperamental), you kiss her for lunch (that cannot last more than an hour or she´ll send you away), you kiss her in between when she gives you several honeydo lists to complete… you´re in a relationship…she makes herself available and takes you places, while you work diligently on pleasing her. Sometimes you kiss gently, others passionately, but once you´ve started you can never stop kissing because if you do…she´ll think you don´t love her anymore…tell her relatives and have you shipped off to Siberia.
You´re happy with your new temperamental love, you can sense that something isn´t quite right about her but you think, that in time…she´ll change. Perhaps when you´re married, have kids…she´ll decrease her bipolar tendencies…after all, she loves you, right? Why think about all of those who have tried to stay with her over the years unsuccessfully? They didn´t know her like you do…they can´t kiss her as good as you can…this love affair can only get better and better…right?
